Man's Family Harasses Pregnant GF After She Refuses To Move In To Run Down House

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Mayarey
Dec 5, 2021 1:00 PM EST

Buying a house is a huge step to make. Some people avoid it for the majority of their lives because it's not something you can easily take back. Renting a place and owning it are two entirely different experiences. When you rent, you don't have to think long term, only until the end of your lease. When you own, well it's yours now, so you better make sure it's maintainable and worth all the effort.

The main point we're getting at here is... it's not a decision to be made rashly, and if you have a significant other who's meant to move in with you, maybelet them have a look before you make one of the largest investments of your life. Just some food for thought.

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  • 01
    Human body - r/AmltheAsshole u/Hot-Story6936 • 8h AITA for refusing to move in with my boyfriend even though he bought us a house?
    via u/Hot-Story6936

    It was Reddit user u/Hot-Story6936 who asked the 'Am I The A-Hole' community if they were in the wrong for refusing to mindlessly move in with her boyfriend after he bought them a house. Sounds simple enough, but there's definitely more to the story.

  • 02
    Font - Two months ago, I (25F) found out I was pregnant and I was DEVASTATED. I have always been a planner and had an idea of how my life was going to go - I wanted to get my PhD, be married and have a house before I had children. I decided to go through with the pregnancy, and with therapy and time have started releasing some of my control issues and warming up to the idea that life is spontaneous and unexpected, so I can better adjust to the other curveballs life (and children) are sure to thr
    via u/Hot-Story6936

    She begins by explaining her situation, and a little history about her and her boyfriend's relationship. She shares that she has issues with accepting that life can be spontaneous, but clearly takes steps to combat her anxiety about it. Surely her partner would understand her boundaries... right?

  • 03
    Font - My boyfriend of 3 years (28M) has been trying to put band-aids on these problems, instead. I explained to him that I've been trying to develop coping mechanisms for these unexpected moments so I can better handle them in the future, but he has been insistent that it's just harder for me and that I should just "check off my boxes" before the baby arrives. He has been trying to convince me to buy a house for two months (we already rent together) but l've been turning him down. We don't have
    via u/Hot-Story6936
  • 04
    Font - A week ago, my boyfriend took me out for dinner and then to go see a "surprise." He lead me to a neighborhood that is notorious in our area for being generally not the best and showed me his surprise... A house. He bought a house that was being foreclosed on with a loan from his parents, a separate loan from his brother, and his entire savings. The house is in HORRIBLE condition and will need to be gutted before our baby comes.
    via u/Hot-Story6936
  • 05
    Font - There's mold, the exterior is just awful, the landscaping has been neglected for years, all the carpets are stained and dirty, the hardwood is damaged, etc. etc. Even with all the fixes, I just don't like the house. It's not to my tastes, it's not in a good area, I just dislike it. I sat on the partially dilapidated porch and just cried. This is not the house I wanted to welcome my baby in. I just can't even pretend to like it. I can't pretend I think this was romantic. It was dumb. He wa
    via u/Hot-Story6936
  • 06
    Font - I told him I would not be moving in with him. I said I would not drain my savings or take out more loans to redo the house. I told him off for making this MASSIVE decision against my will and without my consent. I said if he liked the house, he could sleep there and have not let him back in to our place for the past week.
    via u/Hot-Story6936
  • 07
    Smile - My parents think that he was an idiot for spending so much money on a house but think the idea is cute and that I should appreciate the effort. My sister thinks its cute, my brother thinks its dumb. They are split on being mad that l'm "ungrateful" and understanding where he was an idiot.
    via u/Hot-Story6936
  • 08
    Font - Boyfriend's family has just been leaving hateful, hateful voicemails directed at me. My boyfriend has been alternating between furious and despondent. AITA for refusing to move in with him after he bought me a house? 4 1.2k 3 ,↑, Share 315
    via u/Hot-Story6936
  • 09
    Font - ForgottenTroll · 8h Colo-rectal Surgeon [35] NTA. "Cute" is when you ask your boyfriend to buy your favorite perfume and he comes back with a gigantic bottle because he didn't realize the little bottle lasts for months. "Cute" is not purchasing a delapidated, run-down house as a "surprise" without consulting you. Especially that last part. Big purchases like this need to have, well, buy-in from all adults in a household. Doing it himself is a very worrying form of controlling behavior. Es
    via u/ForgottenTroll
  • 10
    Font - deathandcoffee · 8h Asshole Enthusiast [7] NTA. Buying a house is a huge commitment and a huge expense. Something like that should be agreed upon by BOTH partners, with ful| knowledge of what you are BOTH getting into. Honestly, springing a house on someone is the worst kind of surprise. O S Reply 4 521 3 ...
    via u/deathandcoffee
  • 11
    Font - WrathofPedro · 8h If the house isn't ready then why would you move in? If the house is in a rough neighbourhood then why would you ever move in? He should have consulted you. But it's not the end of the world. He can do up the house and earn a rental income from it. You need to talk to him and explain this though. Ignoring him won't solve anything. G Reply 419 3 ...
    via u/WrathofPedro
  • 12
    Font - salukiqueen · 8h Professor Emeritass [73] Woah. I mean I guess I can see how you'd think that would be romantic if you have zero idea of what goes into fixing up a house / haven't thought about the neighbourhood / haven't really thought any of this through. Did no one, at point, see what a shit show of an idea this was and stop him?? Who makes a huge life decision like that without talking to their partner? He really didn't see how this was going to add to your stress? Especially seeing h
    via u/salukiqueen
  • 13
    Font - fillorianwitch • 8h NTA. My dad does still does stuff like buying cars or booking vacations without talking to my mom first. She hates it. They fight. They get over it. And he does it again. He's always well-meaning but he just doesn't get that it's not okay to make big decisions without consulting your partner and your partner agreeing. If I were you, l'd be concerned that this behavior would repeat, and you'll have to decide if that's something you can live with in a relationship, espec
    via u/fillorianwitch
  • 14
    Font - MadWitchLibrarian • 7h Partassipant [2] NTA Putting aside the colossally stupid decision to buy a house without his partner's input, my bigger concern is his lack of support for you improving your mental health. You are trying to take the mature, healthy route to work through your personal issues, and he wants to handwave that away because...what, it takes too long? He is being extremely inconsiderate of your wants and needs, in more ways than one. I'm rather curious as to his reaction to
    via u/MadWitchLibrarian
  • 15
    Font - DaffodilsAndRain · 8h Certified Proctologist [20] Absolutely NTA - this is not an okay surprise. Big decisions like this need to be made TOGETHER. I would be livid, feel abandoned/betrayed and be questioning my ability to trust him as a partner. His family leaving abusive voicemails is absurd. Please take care of yourself. Ps you can still get that PhD if you want it! I believe in you. Reply 1 90 3 ...
    via u/DaffodilsAndRain
  • 16
    Rectangle - TotallyTired Today • 7h NTA He didn't buy you a house, he bought himself a house. You're just along for the ride. G Reply 4 68 3 ...
    via u/TotallyTired

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